


Your soul is haunting me.

by bethrio



Category: Good Girls (TV)
Genre: Beth has to acknowledge her feelings, F/M, Feelings, Guns, Masturbation, Minor Angst, and stop repressing, attempt hitman, hitman plot dies here, start of something - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:34:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24027439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bethrio/pseuds/bethrio
Summary: Beth represses her feelings about a certain someone.Hitman plot dies here.
Relationships: Beth Boland/Rio
Comments: 16
Kudos: 107





	Your soul is haunting me.

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo I did want to write these two boning but then feelings took over me and I just wanted them to be okay with each other. I am a mess.
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes!
> 
> title from: Dark Paradise - Lana Del Rey

_I love it._

Beth increases the vibration even more, working it against her clit harder. She can still hear how genuine he sounded.

_Yeah. Get away with anything you want in a place like this._

She lets out a loud moan. She can’t stop her mind from racing through scenarios of him taking her against the dirty wall in the empty lot or fucking her on the desk while people outside are oblivious.

_I’ll take a dip._

She grips the bed sheet even harder, her whole body shaking as she gets closer to the edge.

_Wanna join me?_

Yes, Beth minds screams, yes! She lets go of the bed sheet and grabs one of her breasts as the other hand works the vibrator against her cunt. She imagines the way he looks at them, at _her_ , and the image of them fucking in a hot tub.

She comes hard, shaking for too long afterwards, feels the ache that had built up for some time disappear.

Only, then the guilt comes in full speed. Beth hasn’t felt guilty about masturbating in over 20 years when she learnt it’s okay for women to do it, but she knows this isn’t what that is. She wishes it were that that she felt guilty about, would welcome back _that_ guilt any day.

No, she knows it’s because of _him_. She shot him, stole from him, is still waiting for the hitman to kill him and yet he’s the only one who can– who’s in her thoughts– when she does _this_.

She’s done so well to ignore those thoughts and the dull ache down there which he causes. Tried very hard not to think about the bathroom and in her– yeah, she tries not to think about it.

But that night a few days ago, the way he walked beside her, ask her _that_ with that voice of his. All deep and just– the way he actually liked it unlocked something in her. Unlocked the thoughts she’d been ignoring about him, and it just felt like the old them. When they were good partners for a short time, and she hadn’t thought that would be possible again but then he–

Beth lets out a frustrated groan and moves on the bed, only then she’s reminded she isn’t on a bed, she on a blow-up mattress, because of _him_.

Then the guilt goes away and all she’s left with is blood hot anger, he’s stolen her business, won’t let her do it on her own and stole her belongings. She’s perfectly right to want him gone, it’s only fair, she’s done with him.

Beth makes her way to the bathroom getting ready for her shift at Paper Porcupine. She’s going to try and see Fitzpatrick before going to go to Boland Bubbles in her break, make sure it’s running smoothly. It’s only been a few days since they bought it, but they have no time to waste. Plus, Beth needs to steal Dean’s keys and make a copy, get the security information as well.

They haven’t figured out how to cook the books when it isn’t past closing time because Dean will find out any other time. Beth can’t leave Paper Porcupine because they need the printer, Ruby gets the nail polish and Annie well, if Annie starts randomly working for Dean, he’ll know something is up.

Maybe they could pretend she got fired, comes to the house crying, begging for help, a job.

Beth huffs, Annie would not beg Dean for a job. As she thinks more about the situation, more issues begin to reveal themselves. Dean will notice that most of the money is going to _him_ and Beth needs to get him to believe that _he_ isn’t involved. That she got rid of him and they’re doing this alone.

First, she needs to make sure that that’s actually true and second, she needs pray hard that he doesn’t pop up like genie at Boland Bubbles revealing himself to Dean.

* * *

Beth breaths, debating whether or not to go home or to Boland Bubbles. It’s late and she’s tired but she needs to sort out the money. Mentality she debates doing tonight or tomorrow when her phone rings interrupting her train of thought.

Unknown caller.

She signs. It’s probably him, asking her to come to the bar and hold another gun.

She answers it. “What?”

Silence greets her until, “Hello Ms. Boland, busy time?”

“Oh– I thought– urm, sorry about that. I thought you were someone else.” Beth manages to get out.

Fitzpatrick wastes no time, “A new window of opportunity has open up, Tuesday morning. Does it fit your schedule?”

Beth wastes no time either, “Yes! That works.” Grateful that it’s only three days and she can own her business.

“Perfect. I’ll sen-“

“Wait, isn’t then when he plays tennis?”

Silence greets her again on the phone, she’s about to speak up again when– “Like I said, a new opportunity has opened up and we really can’t take these things for granted.”

“Yes, of course. I understand.” He tells her he’ll text her the location on the day and ends the call.

Beth’s left wondering what happened for him to skip tennis.

* * *

“So, all we have to do is pay gangfriend one last payment and then we’re done?”

“And then we’re done.” Beth answers Annie while she counts the cash and puts them in their boxes ready to be collected.

“He better stay dead this time. Popping anytime he wants; I can’t handle that stress.”

“Try having him take everything you own.” Annie tells her. Beth throws a dirty look her way.

“You ready for it to be over, B?” Ruby asks her gently, like she’s treading on rough ground.

Beth keeps her focus on counting the cash, tries not to think about how each night since that night she’s used her vibrator, “More than ready.”

She can feel Ruby and Annie look at other like they do often when it comes to her and him.

It’s just business, darlin’, she says to herself, picturing how he says it.

It’s just business.

* * *

Beth’s scrolling through her pictures and selecting the ones to send to Ruby for her new phone, when he walks in.

She thinks it’s the first time he’s come in here since Lucy. Mick isn’t behind him when he shuts the door.

Beth swallows, “Did something happen?”

He just stares at her and makes his way down the small set of stairs and to the table where the boxes of his cut wait.

“I don’t know darlin’, did something happen that I should know about?” He asks her.

He stares down at her, waiting, and Beth pouts her lips when she says “Nope nothing’s happened. Your cut.” She slides the boxes towards him.

Again, he just stares at her, in that his way he does, like he’s looking through her but also into her soul and she just– “Where’s your boy?”

He lets out a small laugh, “Need another favour, baby?”

“No! I was just–“

“Wanted to tell him a secret, huh? You can tell me instead.”

“What? I don’t have any.” Beth can her feel her face scrunch up in confusion.

He grins at her like she’s some sort of prey, “Yeah, yeah you’re right.” He says softly, almost whispering.

“Can’t be a secret if I already know. See you next time, darlin’.”

Beth watches him pick up the boxes and make his way out. He opens the door surprising well with hands full of boxes and leaves her in the empty room.

You don’t any of my secrets she thinks to herself. She makes her way home and thinks about tomorrow morning, about the hit. Soon it’ll be over.

She tries not think about how she can still smell him and how he smells like he did when he was in her be–

Yeah, she doesn’t think about it.

* * *

The address happens to be similar to the last one, a new building which is still being set up. Fitzpatrick is set up already, only this time not at the front of the building, he’s at the side. The gun aims at the building opposite, which happens to be an apartment building. There isn’t much distant between the two building’s, so there’s no need for something to look into like last time.

“You’ll actually shot him this time?”

“You already passed the test Ms. Boland, this is the real thing. I’ll still ask if you want me to go through with it.”

“Why?” Beth asks, puzzled.

“So it’s on you, and not me.” Beth blinks and steps back a small amount.

She didn’t expect him to say that. She thought he’d say to make sure she wanted to do it.

Either way his logic is flawed, it’s on him not her, he’s the one pulling the trigger.

Beth just nods though, not wanting to start something.

“So, what’s he doing here?”

“It’s his house.”

Beth tries not to strain her neck as she attempts to get a closer look at it, at his space.

“Oh.”

“He should be arriving soon.”

“Okay.”

They only have to wait a few minutes and Beth tries her hardest not to squirm, it’s the longest few minutes she’s ever experienced.

Fitzpatrick looks through the scope of the gun, “He’s here.”

She looks at the window and sees him sorting through some documents.

“Anytime you’re ready.”

Beth breaths, this is it, it’s all gonna be over, she closes her eyes. “Do it. Now.”

She hears the gun go off and the splat it causes when it hits the target. Her toes curl in her shoes trying to get rid of the tension in her body. She breaths again and opens her eyes.

Only– only he’s staring at her, in between the yellow paint on the window.

“What?!” Beth yells and stubbles back. Looking between Fitzpatrick and _him_. Fitzpatrick picks up a smaller gun and aims it at her.

Beth’s mouth open and closes, she doesn’t understand. She looks back to him but all she sees is the yellow paint staring back at her. That fucking yellow paint.

“Your lover found out what you were paying me for.”

She stutters, “I- how- why are you–“

“He paid me a lot, also threatened me which I didn’t care for, to trick you.”

Beth shakes her head, _she doesn’t understand_. How did he find out?

“Are you going to kill me?” She asks him.

“He will.”

Beth tries to control her shaking body, tries to control her hands, tries to get control of _something_.

She hears a door open and she doesn’t turn around to look at him. Instead she focuses on the yellow paint, pictures making a blanket with the colour, nose scrunching in disgust at the image. Tries to remember more pictures she can send to Ruby, what customers she’ll be dealing with on her next shift. Tries to remember something to focus on other than Fitzpatrick handing him the gun as he makes his way out of the room.

They don’t speak, a silence exchange. It’s clearly what they planned, what _he_ planned, and anger boils up inside of her and she snaps her head around to look at him.

He notices it straight away, “Oh baby, you’re mad at me? Imagine how I’m feeling.”

“You gave me no choice.” Beth spits out at him.

He just laughs at her and licks his teeth which pisses her off even more, “Go on then, kill me.”

He laughs again, throwing his head back, “Elizabeth, I ain’t gonna kill nobody. You are.”

He grins at her, both of them remembering the last they were in this position. When he beat up Dean and forced her to pick between the two.

He slides the gun across the floor, it comes to her feet, and just like last time, she scrambles to pick it up.

Her hand shakes, gun shaking with it. She applies as much pressure to her hand as she can, steading herself, driving all the tension she can there.

“Go on shot me, let’s hope your aim’s improved since last time.” He tells her bitterly. His eyes staring hard back at her, one hand twitching while the other is curled in a fist. He’s painted a patronising look on his face, bottom lip pouting like it too often does.

“How did you find out?” She asks him instead.

He laughs showing all his teeth and looks away from her shaking his head.

“I asked what you were doin’ with the cash, Elizabeth. You didn’t tell me so, got someone to follow you.” He takes a small step towards her.

“I didn’t–“

“You didn’t what? Notice? Weren’t meant to, baby. My guys less discreet than you in that big mama van of yours.” Another step.

“Come on, Elizabeth. Shot me.”

Beth’s eyes dart across his face, she readjusts the gun in her grip.

She opens her mouth to speak but he beats her to it, “Remember last time you did it?”

Beth freezes.

“The blood coming out of me, out of my mouth.” Another step.

Beth shakes her head, “Stop it!”

“Remember me choking on my own blood?”

She tries to shove the memory down, lock it back up in that place where she can try and ignore it only– he won’t let her. She remembers how he looked, the betrayal on his face when she shot him. How empty and alone she felt afterwards, how she tried to fill that guilt with helping Marcus. Only he’s so much like his dad, she couldn’t stop thinking him, couldn’t stop thinking about what she did.

How after she throw herself into work, into her family, into her friends, denying its existence. Denying to acknowledge the pain and guilt of what she did, telling Ruby and Annie she didn’t want him back so she could believe it herself.

“You want me dead Elizabeth, do it yourself.” His chest is against the gun now, the smell of him all around her, overwhelming her.

She sniffs, a few tears make their way out. She can do this. She can be numb again. She can hel– no– she can’t help Marcus because Rhea knows her. Will know what she did. She has to deal with the pain she’s inflicted on herself by herself.

She looks at him, his face blank as ever watching her. His beard highlighting his cheekbones and she’s brought back to the memory of that day in her bedroom.

The way she ran her fingers over them, the way he looked at her when he slowly leaned down and kissed her. He slowly pushed himself inside of her and she spoke his name out loud, for the first in a while. He looked at her again and then kissed her harder causing her to say his name over and over again.

She signs, “Rio.”

Beth finally lets herself speak it out loud again, lets herself finally think of his name.

He breaths.

“Kill me, Elizabeth. This ain’t on anyone else but you.”

She closes her eyes, tries to hold onto the anger she’s been feeling throughout all this. Tries so hard to call it back but all she’s left feeling is numb. She hasn’t even done it yet.

“Look at me.” Rio demands. “Look at me when you pull the trigger, Elizabeth.”

She swallows and releases a shaky breath; she opens her eyes.

“Rio.” She repeats. “I’m– I’m just so tired.”

It takes him a while to respond, “Yeah, yeah me too mamí.”

She watches Rio as he looks away from her, focus on something else in the room. They wait like that for a while, gun to his chest, tears in her eyes.

Rio breaks the silence first, “I ain’t gonna ask again, Elizabeth.”

She focuses on the gun in her hand, the power it holds. She needs to end it, right here right now but she can’t think of anything but _him_ , alive, inside of her, encouraging her, liking her ideas, supporting them.

 _I love it._ You do? _Yeah. You can get away with anything you want in a place like this._

_Take a dip. Wanna join me?_

There’s a reason she can’t forget that moment, a reason it keeps fuelling her fantasies, because _it had felt like the old them_.

 _I think you could be something._ You don’t know me. _I think I do._

_Be a boss bitch._

Let’s just not label it okay? _Yeah. Yeah you’re right. It is kind of early, huh?_

_My ottoman?_

_The dubby._

_Their 50/50 partnership._

She breaths, “I just wanna be partner’s again.”

She remembers shooting him, three times, remembers the bullet leaving the gun, remembers him bleeding, remembers the blood trickling out of his mouth. Remembers befriending Rhea out of guilt, remembers telling him she was pregnant, remembers stealing from him. She remembers all her fuck ups.

Before Rio can say anything she says, “I fucked up, I know but–“

She remembers him tricking her multiple times, remembers guns to her head, remembers kidnapping her, remembers stealing her business, remembers touching that gun.

“We’ve both fucked up.” She finishes off, looking at him.

She signs, exhaustion taking over her body. The air around them just– feeling so heavy.

“I’m so tired.” She repeats and moves the gun from his chest or at least tries too.

Rio grabs her wrist and keeps the gun in place against his chest, “This is your last chance Elizabeth. If you don’t do it now, no more hiring anyone else to it, no more secrets about the business, no more tricks. I’m real fucking tired darlin’.”

“ _You know_ I can’t do it.” She tells him.

“I wanna hear you say it.” Rio demands, hand tightening around her wrist.

“No more secrets, no more tricks, no more hitmen.”

They stare at each other for a while, exhaustion taking over both of them even more. He takes the gun out of her hand, tucks it into his jeans behind his back. He rubs a hand over his face.

“30 percentage.”

“50-“

“I ain’t negotiating Elizabeth. You still got a debt to pay. You can-“ He signs. “We can work back to what it was but– I’m trying here, okay?”

For once Beth can read his face, he looks tired and exhausted, and she knows it’s because of her. She hates it.

“Okay.”

Rio stares at her before reaching out and pushing her hair out of her face.

“Okay.”

It feels like a weight has been lifted between them, finally, a fresh start.


End file.
